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July 27, 2011 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
It was a lovely night for this run weather wise, somehow I still broke down during it (mostly mentally, knee has been a constant issue but it's improving...at least I think it is). I thought I'd just apologize for not running last season and explain a little as to why it happened, even though almost none of you will see this post. Why am I doing it on this post? It's because I did a lot of thinking during the run itself that wasn't terribly fun haha; so onto story time.

Last year I was broken mentally and soon to be followed I broke myself physically. A lot of people think it's a product of my ex and I breaking up, while that was the tipping point it's been more something that has been going on for the past 7 years of my life. During the two mile time trial I just couldn't get myself to race, even just running it didn't feel right. I ended up quitting in hope that someone could take the spot I had a potential to fill (because of the cuts) and make something of it. I then started working out to an extreme, not really eating/sleeping and ended up blowing out my knee. All in all I broke myself, it's not terribly fun and as such I don't recommend it to anyone. The reason I spent the time to do any of this is because I want you all to know that none of you had anything to do with me quitting the team. If it seems like I was avoiding you it's because I'm avoiding more or less everyone, thinking has been an important part of my past year. I'm putting myself back together piece by piece. This isn't to say I'm better by any means but I do plan on trying this year. Hopefully I can reach into the scarce talent I used to have and actually help the team. Let's go forward and have a fantastic XC season.

I'd like to add that I did wreck my motorcycle this summer, wasn't nice to my already iffy knee. So I might have a slow start to my season...but shit happens haha.