View Workout (Ella Grace Shipp)

Return to Log

do i really want to talk about this?

June 18, 2012 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: 90s. it was very hot, which probably affected me but was not what i was thinking about.

Comments:
I was really glad to see claire and the team again! I was going to use some strong words to describe this run but then i realized that the misery of this run was too profound and internal to put in a post. i was out of shape, profoundly tired from my trip, and emotionally stressed and exhausted from thinking about my college applications. now i am deadly terrified of running thursday. a person as obsessed with winning and being the best at everything cannot long endure being practically last, behind the freshmen. i cannot run more on my own because i am tired and busy and i cannot become resigned to my state because that is not my nature. cross country causes the most irresolvable inner turmoil of anything in my life. if i did not love the team, need to keep in shape, and hate quitting, i would quit, as i almost did last season before i came back and had some good runs. at least coach has begun to understand and allow me to wallow in my own guilt without further berating me.