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All-Ohio

April 13, 2013 (Afternoon)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
Today just aggravates me.

I've had an unpleasant past 2 weeks, and I think it all culminated into today's race. I haven't been getting no sleep - 6-7 hours a night, with no all-nighters - but I've just had no time to relax. It's been taking a toll on my brain most, I think. Mentally, I couldn't handle the steeplechase. I was fragile. The depressing aesthetic of the track, the athleticism of my opponents, and the temperature of the water are all things that should never be factors in my race. They're insignificant, but the insignificant things brought me down today. I couldn't sleep well last night, and I could tell from my sheets that I was tossing and turning endlessly. (It's not like I'm depressed or unstable, but I'm unrested pretty deep down)

So my brain just hurt during the race. I don't remember the race much, which is strange. However, it felt afterwards like my brain ran the race instead of my legs, and that explains why I had one of the worst kicks of my career today. Mentally, I was destroyed. But physically, I was in shape to have broken 10 today. The irony of it all is that if I had broken 10, the achievement would have soothed away a lot of the haywireness in my brain.

So it's a PR, but not one to be proud of.

There's some good news in all of this though. There was so much on my mind, I barely thought about the hurdles, and handled them pretty well on sheer instinct. Knowing that will get me through the next week in good spirits, I hope.