View Workout (Marty Grover)

Return to Log

SECURITY ALERT

July 15, 2009 (Afternoon)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
Case Western Reserve University Police & Security Services

This incident took place off campus but Case Police & Security Services want to inform the campus community of the incident.

Location of Incident: Forest Hills, Cleveland Heights, OH

Date of Incident: Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

Time of Incident: 6:00 p.m

Incident Description: While normal people took evening strolls at Forest Hills park. Three BAMFs decided to do hill repeats on what is arguably the most hardcore hill in Cleveland. This display of manliness caused all women within a 4 mile radius to bucket everywhere which makes the three men suspect of 10000 charges of rape.

Suspect Description: The leader of the bunch was approximately 5'6 and was followed by two accomplices, each about 6'1 tall. The little man and one of the taller men were wearing insport boxers (or running shorts as some call them) and the other tall man was wearing a similar pair of reebok shorts. The suspects were approximately 18-25 years of age. Two of the suspects had major swamp-ass, while the other seemed to be incapable of sweating. They were all ridiculously fast, swoll, and tan.

Additional Information: The investigation of this incident has ceased, because all 10000 women knew they wanted it.

Security Alert # 11

Initiated: 7/16/09

Information provided by: Officer Coco, Head of Jaywalking Enforcement Committee, Cleveland Heights Police Department