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The journal of a lonely man

November 9, 2014 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
first, i have not been running as consistently as someone who does nothing with their life should. i can't say there is a real reason why, its just what i've become. but i did run today and i didnt time it and it wasnt fast. anyway i want to pick the running back up because i need to feel like im doing something positive. so today i ran, and if thats all you needed to know stop reading! all that follows and in future running-logs will probably be interesting and worth a laugh for me five years down the line. im not really sure.

The reason i decided to log again along with picking up running is not because i want to keep track of how much im running, and not for some running goal at all. its because as i was reminded by a friend of mine, i spend a lot of time alone, and talking for 3+ hours made me lose my voice. i just dont interact with anyone outside of my roommates too often. after spending 3+ hours talking, i hadnt said 10% of the things that come across my mind in a day to day basis that are even related to those two people i was talking to. so even just typing at a computer screen in a box that someone out there might just read just seems like better than pondering all of my crazy thoughts alone.

not that going to see a 3 hour long movie will help me with this problem, but i saw interstellar tonight and i dont want to spoil anything about the movie in anyway, so everyone who is anyone should go see it. and not like the, "corey sees so many movies and recommends 95% of them, so i pretty much ignore his recommendations" kind of recommendation. like seriously go see it.

and the last thing i wanted to say for now is that i've always feared growing up, and becoming an adult with all the responsibility, and no longer getting to watch kids movies, and having to worry about a family(holy shit!), and a house and stuff. what i'm realizing more and more is that the most terrifying thing to me, is the idea of not being able to grow up. and its even more terrifying to face alone. but i've kept it to myself because i dont want to burden anyone else with my problems, because it just seems i dont know, courteous, might be the word im looking for? but yeah, like i said, journal of a lonely man.

anyway, interstellar just literally sent me on an emotional roller coaster and maybe thats what all this is all about, but if not and i stick to it, stay tuned for more of my crazy thoughts in the near future for when i get my lazy ass out the door to run again...