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summer storms

August 6, 2009 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
summer storms, as well as mental breakdowns.
That was the longest 3 mile run I have ever expierenced.
My mind and body are soooo exhausted..I'm very thankful for these 7 days of rest.
I will cherish each one.
I dont want to start hating running, because of doing it so much.
As you all saw, I wasnt going fast..and I couldnt..my body just wouldnt. My mind wasnt strong enough.
Its been a really rough year, I'm going through the toughest time in my life right now, its tougher than I ever thought possible.
and running is really helping me, except on days like this when I feel like running is my enemy.
I'm sorry you all had to see me cry.
I had a slight panic attack, but with liz telling me to try to breath normal, I controlled it.
I'm getting very scared.
3 panic attacks in 2 days.
Everything is so stressful, and coming at me so fast.
Between family stuff, tasha not doing cross country and still hearbroken over that idiot that almost reuined my 4th quarter of school, panic is taking over.
Thank you all for being so supportive.
I know that I have changed, I am not myself anymore.
And its because Ive felt so much sadness and sorryness for myself.
but thats gonna change.
I dont want more panic attacks, because its the scariest thing I've ever expierenced.
I need to be strong.
I love you all
and thank you for always being there and making sure I'm okay.
It means the world, even if I dont show it.
One hug means everything..So i thank sarah for giving me that.
I love you all
And running.
and I will see you tomorrow for ultimate fully clothed, as I have a retreat for stuco at 9.