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Dang it (A story of overcoming back pain)

July 19, 2015 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
This run felt very very nice. It was so short, but it felt very very nice. Before the run I was feeling great defeat. My back has really got me down because I think I just keep expecting it to fix itself and then it doesn't and i get sad. I have to start putting work towards feeling better and a lot of work because you have to change your whole daily routine to fit "the back regiment".
You're sitting in the car, leaning back with a leg crossed over your other leg and you're in pain and you know that for that pain to go away you need to uncross your legs and sit in a position where your knees are below your hips and you have weight in your feet, but you're completely sunken into this car seat and you don't really remember how you got over this when you were in 7th grade so then you just keeping sitting there with your legs crossed in pain. That's where I'm at. I'm not changing what I'm doing daily, I threw out all of my pt sheets except for two, RIGHT NOW I'm sitting on the ground cross legged with my computer in pain even though I know that there is no position sitting on the floor that is good for your posture and I don't even want to change how I'm sitting. No willpower. Defeat.
But my run was so nice. But running so hard on backs. And I continue running and I continue to bend over when I drop things on the ground. But I don't want to stop running and I don't want to see a doctor and even after writing this whole log about my back I STILL haven't changed the way I'm sitting. I'm kind of horrible. Perfect 7th grade me would be ashamed.
All in all there are people in this world who get into accidents and become paralyzed for the rest of their lives and can't walk and I'm here writing this long log about some back pain. I'm really sorry for who ever decided to read this log, it was quite unproductive.