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September 14, 2009 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
Well, today I only ran about 30 minutes since Rusty told me to take it easy today. I think that was a good thing, because I did not feel very good today, and I really want to get over my stupid cold.

Grr, I am so frustrated with myself lately. I used to always be perfectly healthy, but since this summer, it seems like there is always something wrong. From ulcers, to stomach flus, to this cold, I've had enough! I guess I'm just not used to being sick.

Apart from that, I guess I'm just frustrated at my place on the team. I'm right in the middle of the top varsity and top jv girls. It's really frustrating, because I'm just fast enough to be on varsity, but just slow enough to leave a big gap between the top five varsity girls and me.

I feel like I'm not getting much faster and that the only thing I'm good for is making the girls close behind me on the team faster. I just want to be able to run with Becca and Chelsea and feel more like I'm on varsity instead of some weird middle-land between varsity and jv.

I know I should just stop complaining and start working harder, but I thought I have been working hard, and I thought that running over the summer would make be faster, so I'm not sure what to do to make me better. I guess all I can do is keep running workouts correctly, and try to think more positively. Everyone says that most of it is in your mind, but it's hard to actually make yourself believe you can do something just because you tell yourself you can.