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Third Battle

October 13, 2018 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
3rd battle! Always a magical day because of the beauty of the course/area and the joy of the team when so many people run so well. It was also finally a cool day which was really nice--felt like real xc! Felt ok on the warmup though shins were already hurting a good bit. Leah showed up though and made me really happy! We're very lucky getting to see 2 of our former assistant coaches in 1 week!

I was pretty nervous at the line, but the cannon went off and I was suddenly ok, doing what I love with people I love. I went out pretty fast and ended up in the woods with Jenna and Hailey. We stuck together, passing people as a group for most of the first mile and then spread out a bit with Hailey about 50 meters ahead of me for most of the race and Jenna a bit behind me. I felt surprisingly strong and focused for being alone and am very proud of how I raced. Taking Matt's advice about racing strategy, I focused on everyone who inspires me and everything that makes me happy to help me dig deep, not things that make me angry or sad. Good advice, don't know what I was thinking at DCXC! Every time I was tired or hurting or wanting to ease up I refocused and pushed harder, but I still felt in control and like I had good form. I still felt strong and good at the end and took advantage of the slight downhills on the last big loop to keep passing people. Came up out of the loop for the final kick and saw Anthony and Lauren who both told me to go for it. I had 1:30 until my PR with 400 meters to go, but racing that last little bit I somehow mentally let myself ease up. I think I thought that was more than enough time (which it wasn't) in which to still PR so I didn't have to go full out on the kick. I don't know, it was a really dumb train of thought. I don't know why I got cocky and why I wasn't trying to PR by as much as I could, but I didn't kick as hard as I could have, and as a result finished 5 seconds off of my PR.

It's not that I'm unhappy with my time. I'm actually incredibly happy to be so close to a PR for the amount I've been running (or not running) from injury. I'm just mad that I didn't make the choice that I definitely had control over in this instance to PR. I think sometimes I'm scared to do well, and I'm really not sure why. I need to do some soul searching, I guess. I definitely learned from this race, but I wish that the last 400 meters weren't overshadowing the rest of this race in my mind because it's definitely other than that the best I have ever raced.

Last year, my grandfather's cancer had relapsed a few weeks before this race, and I wrote in my log that I was running it for him. He died last November, but I still ran for him today, and every race I run at Third Battle, in my mind, is for him.