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Caged Animal+Lots of Thoughts

March 29, 2019 (Night)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
This is gonna be a long log because it was quite an adventure and I have a lot of thoughts.

Decided to run in the Tuileries today because I didn't get out until after 6 and Luxembourg garden closes at 6:30. The Tuileries wasn't supposed to close until 7:30. Set off without a phone since it doesn't work outside here anyway and felt very free running through Paris alone, but I was also nervous about getting lost even though it's a very simple run. Ran along the Seine for a few minutes and made it there fine.

Didn't have that much time before I was supposed to be back for dinner, but ran loops around the park for about 20 minutes. The sun was setting behind the Eiffel Tower and it was absolutely beautiful. Really wished I had my phone to take a picture, but then I remembered one of Matt's logs from a few months ago about how trying to capture the beauty of something with a photo spoils it, so I just tried to be in the moment and enjoy it.

Warning: long analysis of society and my own brain coming now. So there was this guy, probably in his thirties or forties who was sitting in a chair in the park watching the sunset. The first time I ran by he cheered for me in french "Oui, vas-y! Un peu plus! Rapide!" which I thought was funny and I was excited that I'd understood it. I ran by again to see if he'd cheer again and he did, so I started doing smaller laps so I could pass him more frequently because the french cheering was motivating. Sometimes people will cheer when I'm running in DC too, and I never know how to feel about it. Should grown men who I don't know be supporting my exercise? Probably not. But is it catcalling? I don't really think so. It doesn't feel predatory or objectifying, just a little inappropriate maybe? But usually I don't mind it because hey, I'm running and they're sitting on their butts; if they want to recognize that that's fine with me. Anyway, after I'd passed this guy 3 or 4 times, he started yelling more things at me, but I couldn't understand because he was talking too fast in french, so I just ignored him and kept running. When I was finished though, I stopped near him and indicated in bad french that I was done running, but thanked him for his cheering. Once he realized that I wasn't french, he switched to english and told me he'd been telling me to switch direction, not run in a circle the same way because it was better for my legs. He was looking out for my hips I guess? He asked how old I was and where I was from and seemed surprised about both answers. Apparently I look 20 and French because "Americans are usually bigger." Thank you??? He said he wouldn't have talked to me if he knew I was that young, but he likes to talk to people because the world is too closed off, which I agree with. But then he proceeded to continue talking to me for like 15 minutes knowing how old I was. It was a nice conversation and didn't feel creepy at all, and there were also a lot of people around so I felt totally safe, but now I'm feeling weird and icky about it and I'm not sure why. Do I live in a world where I shouldn't trust any older male stranger who talks to me? Should alarm bells have gone off in my head? I don't want to live in that world. That's sad. But I can't figure out if I feel weird because the society we live in has trained me that way to keep me safe and I went against that or because there weren't enough alarm bells when there should have been. Just want to reiterate, while he probably shouldn't have talked to me at all/for that long, I do think this man's intentions in this specific case were good and not meant to be creepy or take advantage of me for being young and alone, but it just made me think hard about how I can/should be relating to people in this world at this point in my life. Maybe I'm way overthinking this, but the whole encounter just made me a bit confused.

Anyway, the adventure continues. I'd talked so long that now I was already a minute later than I said I'd be back and it was still a 5 minute run home. I said I had to go and sprinted off towards the gate I'd come in, only to find it closed. Thought maybe this fence had always been closed and I was confused about where I'd entered, so I ran back and tried a different part of fence that looked like a gate. Also closed. After about the third try to get out, I looked around to see that they'd locked the park. Apparently, they close it at 7, not 7:30 which is not what they say online. Panicked for a second, but then saw a bunch of other people also locked in looking for an exit. By now I was 15 minutes late to get home, and didn't want my parents to worry that I'd fallen into the Seine, so I asked in very bad french to borrow this young guy's phone who was also stuck in the park so I could call our apartment phone. He was nice and let me. Then together we found the one gate that was still open where a guard was ushering the 25 people that had been locked in out of the park. However, this was diagonally across the park from the bridge where I wanted to be, so I had to sprint all the way around it and back to the apartment. Got back 5 minutes before our dinner reservation. We were late.

It was actually a really good run overall, just with some weird bits. No idea about the distance because of all the laps and interruptions, and I went 15 minutes longer than I had time for. But that's okay. I needed some excitement in my life. Left IT band has been a little twingy walking around which worried me, but I stretched and rolled throughout the day and before running and I didn't feel it at all on the run, so that's good.

Wow. Okay. Long long log. If you got this far, good for you and thanks for listening to all my inner thoughts. I needed somewhere to process things. :)