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If You Run a Race Alone, You're a Sandwich

April 23, 2019 (Afternoon)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
Last STA meet today. Boo hoo. Wasn't feeling that nostalgic while I was there, but thinking about it now, that's kinda sad. Gonna be a lot more lasts in these last 8 days of senior classes. Weird.

Took the bus over because I was feeling tired. I was originally in the 800, but convinced Anthony to switch me to the mile because I was so close to a PR last time that I wanted to try again. Started slightly regretting that during the warmup because I was feeling horrible, but I'm very glad I did it in the end. Warmed up with the mile squad, chatted with Sophie about annoyance with Passover and how we're always hungry without bread and how matzah sucks. Then did drills and sang obnoxiously which was fun. We started our warmup with plenty of time, but the small STA meets seem to move ahead of schedule, so I literally sprinted to the line without striders.

I was seeded 3rd which was weird to me. Went out near the back like usual, but got boxed in behind Sophie, Tara, and Madeleine and decided to go around them in the first 200 meters. I was trying to run very even 100s, so wanted enough space to do that. Good decision. Behind Lucia and I think one or two other girls. I was feeling good, so I moved up towards Lucia and ran with her (!) for 200 meters and then very near her for another 300 or so. That's never happened before. Tara caught me at the end of the third lap I think and we ran together for the rest of the race. Tried to push the last lap. Kick wasn't as good as the last few races, but I think I went harder earlier.

I was pretty confident during the race that I'd PR, and I didn't quite (2 seconds away from last time, 3 from a PR), but I'm actually surprisingly okay with that. I've been thinking about the differences between this race and my last mile race and I think my different feelings about them are interesting. I think non-runners who don't get what this sport is about would think that time is all that matters, if you run faster you're always happier than if you run slower. Sure, sometimes, but I raced so much better today than 2 weeks ago. Last time, I had the perfect conditions to PR, I was completely on track (no pun intended) and then I got scared of succeeding and slowed, missing it by a second. This time, it was much hotter, super pollen-y, I've gotten a ridiculously small amount of sleep the last two nights, and Passover is causing me to be constantly hungry, but I still ran with pretty much everything I had. I didn't let myself let up when I was doing well, and I kept pushing the whole time. And sure, it would have been nice to PR. But for these circumstances, I ran the best race I could and that's all I ask of myself. I was much more disappointed last mile in my racing mentality than my time, and I think I've worked hard to change that in the meets since then. So I'm happy with this race!

Sorry this log is getting long, but I can't possibly end it without a paragraph devoted to how incredibly amazing Sophia Mohammed is!!!! She has stuck with this sport season after season, even when she was unable to run for months at a time, but she's never been bitter. Instead she brings even more joy and positivity to the team when she could so easily resent her non-injured teammates. But today, she got to run an 800 for the first time in years, and I can't even explain how proud I am of her. I sprinted around cheering for her and seeing her grin as she ran gave me so much joy. It was truly one of the most special races I've witnessed in all four years and one I will certainly look back to for motivation in the future. I love you so much, Sophia!!! <3<3<3

I was feeling good by the end of the meet, so I convinced Lauren to join me running back (along with a group that was a bit ahead of us). Good conversation and lovely jog!! My heart is full after this meet. I can't imagine what life will be like without the team every day next year, but I'm just trying not to think about that.