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ISLs: First One, Last One, Best One

May 11, 2019 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
My heart is full (even if my lungs most definitely are not). It’s been full since I started warming up with Hannah and Maddi and Anthony asked me what it was like seeing it from the inside. Surreal. Even though I haven’t had the perfect storybook race to cap off a perfect season, I still feel satisfied that I gave it my all out there today and saw all of my teammates do the same. That’s all I could ask for. It’s not worth it to analyze going out too fast or getting passed after passing a pack in the third. I decisively tried to pass a Holton (?) girl on the backstretch of the third lap but she got me at the start of the fourth and so did a couple of other girls. Part of me is feeling “oh what if I could kick harder” but I did what I could today and I feel good about my race. Sure, it would have been nice to go under 6:30, but I could always do a time trial after States. I almost started crying on the warmup because Maddi was being very sentimental about our last ISLs. And it’s been inspiring seeing all the runners who came before me in this race, from sneaking around the bushes to watch Katherine run a crazy race to Isabel pushing and running her heart out, and many more runners past, present, and future in every other race. I tried to channel those runners today while staying in the moment, but all I could think about in my race were the girls in front of me. I went out between packs which is where I stayed for a lot of the race in around 90 and then 800 split was around 3:06?? I’ll add splits later but I can’t really remember much of the race except the girls in front of me and wanting it to be over, but feeling so happy after kicking and being done. Running today and seeing my teammates push through pain made the biking a couple days a week and not getting to do workouts and having to ice everyday feel worth it.

None of those things were in my brain before or during the race. But championships wasn't just about me trying to run my fastest in the mile — they were about THIS full team's one last hurrah. And we hurrah-ed! (Or chirp chirped). I wouldn't trade it for the world.

After the race and throughout the day I just feel super tired physically, mentally, and emotionally. I just haven’t fully processed that this sport that I love and that I could have raced my last race with THIS high school team that was such a home for me. Even though I’m a lot better at debate than I am at running, I feel at home here in a way that I never felt at debate which makes me regret not running winter track junior or senior year. I guess I’ll just have to live with the decisions I made. All I know is that racing with THIS team made me both reminisce and look to the future. Reminisce on the workouts I always felt terrible on and then got progressively better (usually, looking @ u on/off 200s 32 workout!), or the steady runs with friends, or even the terrible races. But today was a good day and hopefully one to reminisce on for many more years.
I really didn’t think I would be at ISLs — I knew I wanted to make the most out of it. And I think I did, from kicking down the last 100 to finding weird spots to cheer to hopefully inspiring people in later races. Everybody has been working so hard this season, from Jenna’s triple on Monday to Ella’s school record and Maddi’s fairytale race (she’s a unicorn) and I’m so proud to be on the team at the same time as all of you. I really hope I get to have one more race. If I don’t, ran good. xoxo.
(it's 11:44 and I told myself I'd go to bed at 10:30 oops)