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The White Knight to the White Elephant

September 6, 2010 (Afternoon)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: 78 Partly Cloudy eh... weather is just an excuse

Comments:
Cuyahoga Valley Towpath (starting with large group, most of it with Carter, Grese, Chris Kelly)-

This was supposed to be a progression long run so we started off normal training pace, bumped it up to hard training pace after a while, and the group took off toward the end. I dropped off the group and ran the last 4ish miles alone and bitter. I have two competing thoughts about this:

1. Two days ago I said I "proved" I can run with our top guys and today, well, I didn't. I'm not sure why I dropped back because I could have physically run faster. I cramped up and it was uncomfortable. This really isn't a valid excuse and what I did was a real sissy move. For the last four miles, I bitterly finished, not trying, constanly repeating over and over again how I hate this or that or running or myself or anything else I can possibly blame. Last year I made myself into a 'white knight' of sorts only to find myself a year later as a white elephant. I need a way to end my bitterness and move on and I thought that Sudeck did it, but apparently not.

2. Once I finished, my knee started hurting and I was worried I might have done something really bad. It went away in a couple hours, but I wonder if I had stayed up with everyone if I'd be hurt again right now. Also in my defense, as Mike Grese pointed out, I did exactly what I said I was going to do, finish in ~6:40s.

I am dissapointed in myself today because I was so happy after Sudeck and everything I've done since has been poorly executed. In 20/20 hindsight I'm not sure what I should have done differently today given #2, but I am not happy nevertheless.