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emotional wreck

November 14, 2008 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
I miss cross country.
So much.
I just love running so much!
I was really suprised to win a award tonight.
it meant alot for you coaches to tell me i was really positive.
I can be a total emotial wreck.
Most of you have seen my downs, and my lows.
To not get to my goal, was so hard. Many tears have fallen from these eyes, but many were tears of joy.
Everything was so worth it, just to cross that finish line at districts. And to know I got 25, my end of season goal, made me go into tears...good tears. Even if it was 25:52, I felt great. Then again I was hyped up on ibprofun=P

I have never been the best. Never.
It has always killed me. I have always worked so hard, only to get torn down. I admit I'm an emotional wreck sometmes but when I see myself fail, it kills me. Failure is not an option.
Gosh I am crying right now. I beat myself up so much.
Its not just tears of sadness though;Its tears of joy. Cross country has changed me.
The only reason Im so positive, is because of all of you. Thank you so much.
I'm so sad this season is over, and I miss running so much.
But when it rolls around again, you'll see me..like you have never seen me before.
Ill be back for the attack, stronger than ever.

I visualize my race EVERDAY.
I imagine myself just being harder, better,faster, stronger.
&& I will be.

Its crazy..I had this insane dream the other night.
It was a meet, and I finished and NO ONE would tell me my time, cause they thought it was funny. && finally my dad told me my time and i started bawling.
I had got 22:01
Crazzy!
I know.
But

Since I dreamed this, I can make it a reality.
It is my goal for next year.
I know your all reading this going, shes crazy!
But hey, I have to dream big!

I will, I will, I will, I will, I will
"What doesnt kill you makes you stronger"
Believe
and now instead of 25, its 22:01.

(Thats what I always wrote on my hand)

I will miss all the seniors dearly!
You all are so inspiring.

You all did amazing, Im so proud.

I love running.
And coaches, you are amazing.
THis season was great.!

You all are my hero's
i will remember each and every person on this team for the rest of my life.
And Crossing that finish line, finding out my time, and crying in my dads arms at districts is branded into my memory.

I love you all.
THis has been a crazzzy rollercoaster.

I'm an emotional wreck, but its only because I care so FREAKIN much.
Oh and also. I have a "Running" Wall.
It has everything on it..even my running spikes haha.
they are hanging by the shoelaces =P

My track stuff from middle school is going to be up there to.

:]
Mhxc
forever.