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Do I hate my bowels or do my bowels hate me?

August 14, 2018 (Afternoon)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
Yesterday, I shat 5 separate times. Once in the morning, 3 times at the office, and then another time in the evening. Then today, I shat once in the morning, once at the office, and then another time once I got home. You would think I would be ok to run right? Well...

There's a reason there are 3 separate runs below. About 2 miles in, something dropped in my bowels and suddenly I needed to shit my brains out. I was near a park and thought, "I pay taxes and this is a PUBLIC park. The toilet room has gotta be open." BUT NOPE. I let out a little scream when I pulled on the door to find out it was locked. I then turned around and started running towards where I knew was a biff. It was about a half mile away. But I only made it about 20 strides before I had to walk. Otherwise I would have exploded in my shorts. You should have seen the grimace on my face. While walking I thought about how a politician could win my vote. He/she only has to run one of three things:

1. Legalization of weed.
2. Frequent open biffs/toilets on the popular running trails/paths.
3. More bridges on all the trails/paths so we don't have to stop for traffic.

I eventually made it to the biff, emptied my guts, and then continued on my run. But I didn't make it very far before there was ANOTHER drop in my bowels and this time I was literally shit out of luck. There were no biffs around and I was still a mile and a half away from home. So, I just started walking, TRYING so desperately to keep the turtle head inside until I finally found a little opening in the woods for me to empty myself again. Thankfully, this was the end of the nightmare and I made it home from here without any more problems.


SHEESH. I don't understand this. Very inconvenient. If you're the type of person that only has to shit once a day, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.