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Viking Invitational part 1

April 16, 2011 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Weather: low 50s and rainy (feels bit cooler than really is because of rain)

Comments:
it was what i expected, but i half hoped it wouldn't be...

i tried to remind myself that i was gunna run great last night, but never rely focused...
when i woke up, i wasn't totally in it either. at least i got to wake up later and get some good sleep. i the car i, about halfway there when i had a moment of panick, i managed to calm myself down and truly convince myself that i was gunna have a strong race. but i wasn't pumped up.
by the time i got there, my private pep-talk had worn off and the "inexperienced runner" feeling kicked in. after i forced breakfast down me, i curled up under our new "mmut" to take a 30min nap, but then anthony was tapping me on the shoulder that the meet was running way early and i should start warming up. WHAT?! since when does a meet run EARLY?! !!
so i got up to jog. that's when i actually had nothing else to think about but my race. i felt like i was gunna thro up - maybe the breakfast didn't help (was expecting to have more time to digest) but it was those "scared" nerves, not the "excited" ones.
sigh.
i robotically when thru drills. i think of it as a blurr, but it really wasn't. it was the torturous time dragging on forever. i was warmed up, but definitely coulda done better with that. but it was all pretty organized despite the rush. i slowly got a bit more focused, but i never woke up. i just never got pumped up - for myself, for the team, or the competition - and not just mentally, but physically as well. not only did i never give myself another pep talk that i could totally do this, but my muscles never got excited - that feeling when you've just done your last strider and legs just wanna burst, charging past the start line, your arms egging for the piton to get to you faster so they can start pumping...well that never happened.
i could hardly think, i don't even remember trying to think, but i had the nerves to get myself out strong the first 150 meters. the next 150, i had the team on the sidelines to keep up the momentum - it wasn't the cheering, it was just knowing my team was right next to me, and seeing the green in my peripheral vision.
then, as i was about to enter the 2nd lap, the girl behind me passed me and the 2 girls i'd been gaining on began to drift away slightly, and i had no drive to get mad. i didn't come fighting today. as i passed anthony coming out of the turn, i refocused on those girls and tried not to let them got any further ahead. i suppose my form wasn't bad, not that i was really thinking about it, but i didn't stride out like i shoulda. this is what i'd expected: got out strong, but the endurance was missing. still, i coulda gone after them. i wish i'd seem/heard william, or someone'd gotten made at me before i got into that last turn. because that's where i needed to start kicking. it was helpful that anthony'd reminded me when i'd passed him, but i was now 100 meters past him and it was fading from my mind. everything was a muddle, and i didn't really hear anything but a blur of sounds. i never turned on. the last 100 was strong, and i gave a good form almost sprint.
i was disappointed but not too bothered. because i'd ran a good race. but i was prepared for this. i knew it was ok to have just a decent race, it didn't have to be amazing. i showed up, and ran well. i'll have the rest of my heart next week-end. i had a hard week, detrimental to my endurance, but now way is this gunna be me next we. i'm gunna be on and ready to race, ready for competition, ready to be fierce. i'll be back next week.

so now i'm home and have taken a nice bubble bath :) will eat and make sure i drink more water than i want to. will write part 2 of my log (on my 4x100) tonite.

i'm just gunna relax and be there for my team to run the 100.