View Workout (Jake Avery)

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Sectionals

November 3, 2016 (Morning)

Exercise Type: Run

Comments:
This morning and last night I was just dead focused on the race. I hardly thought about anything else. I got to the course and we had to start running immediately. I only managed to get a bagel and a banana in me. That's it. We set out on the course for the run through and I felt great my legs felt smooth and I was ready to go. I was just getting more and more pumped to run. After the warmup I just waited in the tent for awhile. I listened to pump up music just getting in the zone but when I got up I felt that rush of adrenaline. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not but I just kept thinking about the race. I got pretty nervous after that. I was almost shaking for a little bit. Something I haven't felt since sophomore year when I put too much pressure on myself. I just wanted the race to start. We got to the line and I put on my game face, the face that I've had these past few days when I walked past Corning. After that I kept repeating in my head how I wanted to race and how I would never let up. Right before the race I relaxed my face and realized just how tired my face was from using that focus face I've been using for the past few days. I just felt mentally exhausted form thinking about the race the past 24 hours. The Cornell coach was there also so I might have put more pressure on myself because of that also.
The race started and I got out at a good pace. I stuck right on Silas and we were behind a pack of Corning guys. We moved up before the mile mark and we were right in the middle of a pack at the front. We passed the mile mark at like 5 flat. I was feeling pretty good at that point. Then Silas put on a little surge and I pushed to keep up. We got to the bottom of the hill and Moshier put on another surge and I really pushed it down the hill. On the uphill at the halfway point I just lost it both mentally and physically. I was hurting on the uphill trying to push through it after the adrenaline wore off. I lost contact with Silas and Moshier and was just with Derrick and Nicholson. The rest of that race was pretty much a blur. I remember mentally wanting to go harder but my legs just wouldn't let me. My stride was choppy and I just didn't feel smooth. I would put on surges especially on the downhills whenever I got gapped but those two guys and caught up each time but had trouble extending that momentum once the course got flat again. I was just trying to push through the pain as much as possible. We got to the uphill with around 800 left after the quiet stretch in the back and I was really struggling. Neil passed me and I just told him to catch those guys. I could speak to him and my breathing wasn't just too rapid but my legs had so much lactic acid. I heard Liam yelling at us and I pushed on the downhill and on that last uphill I tried to close as much as I possibly could. I had crazy tunnel vision the last 400 meters I could only fixate on a specific point. On the finishing stretch I couldn't will my legs to go any faster I went right to my arms because my legs couldn't move any faster. I felt really fuzzy and my legs were just tightening on me. I went from sprinting to barely being able to lift my legs off the ground. I was determine that I would cross that line even if I had to crawl. With the little energy I had left I dove and rolled twice over the line to finish.
I came back to realization and the med crew was taking off my bib on the side on the finish line. I couldn't stand up so they had to help me onto a golf cart. They dropped me off at the tent and after thanking the Cornell coach for coming out for watching I just sat under the tent for awhile because I just got light headed any time I stood up. I had a crazy headache but Silas's pills helped a ton. I got a little to eat and just tried to regain energy. Coach came back and I was able to walk around. We talked about what might have caused myself to just not be able to stick with it mid way through. I wasn't sure and he said that it was probably more mental than physical. After a workout like Mondays there's no way that I shouldn't be able to stick with it. He said that he was a firm believer in getting too psyched up for a race. I think that's definitely what caused it. I haven't had that much adrenaline and haven't been that nervous for a race in a long time. That's definitely didn't help. Maybe I didn't eat or drink enough also I don't know. But I know I'm fit enough to run a great race. I just felt emotionally and mentally just worn out from focusing not on the race that I didn't have enough emotion and mental strength left for myself in the actual race. I think that was the problem. Me, Ian and Liam had a great cool down together and we discussed a few things. I felt a lot better after this cooldown. What Liam told me is that in this sport it's all just a balancing not act. Sometimes when you have it, it's hard to believe that you ever didn't have it. And when you don't have it it's hard to see your self having it and trying to remember what it feels like to have it. He said this sport is all just a reach in the dark for that light switch and once you get it, you get it. That really hit home for me.
This isn't about me finding that perfect race anymore. This is about finding who I am and what works for me. If I can find who I am and just be myself I know the races will just fall into place. Today I wasn't myself, I got too zoned in. I listened to pump up music before the race, didn't talk to anyone, only though about the race the entire night before and day of the meet. That's not me, that's not what I do, that's not what works for me. It's about finding a balance. And for me I just have to go with my roots. What always worked for me before was just clearing my head, clearing everything out of it and just being relaxed. Every time I've have had a bad race I've always been serious before a race and just psyched myself out. I need to keep it light I'm used to just having fun out there and just staying relaxed and even joking around before a race. I'm focused but relaxed when I do that. Then I clear my mind the 2-3 minute before the race, a clean slate, ready for anything. And then the race goes off and I have an idea of what I want to do but not a plan. I don't set out to stay with anyone. I listen to my body, play to my strengths and just race instinctive. That's what keeps me focused in the middle of a race. When I have to make decisions in a race as to what to do next and constantly focusing on how my body feels that keeps me more focused then worrying about who I need to stick to or who I need to pass at what time. I'm always focused on the next move I need to make, what I need to do next. I let time slow down and have the race come to me. If I keep on focusing on how to get back to where I was I will never get there I need to just do what I do and just focus on things that I can control, and let the racing come back to me naturally. I know what I need to do now. It's back to the basics. That's how I remember having my best races and that's how I'm going to race from now on.